A few days ago, I had an interesting conversation over coffee with my college friends. We happened to stumble upon the topic of "open relationships" and its implications to those who choose to engage in it. But what exactly is an open relationship? Is it cool or not cool? According to lexico.com, an open relationship is a relationship (or even a marriage) in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others.
So basically, you can be exclusively dating someone, but it is still okay for you to "entertain" people outside your relationship for as long as there is consent coming from the person you claim to be "exclusive" with. My friends and I had mixed opinions on the matter, but in the end, agreed that it would be such a "hassle" to be involved in an open relationship. For one, you'd have to be such an emotionally strong and independent person in order for you to survive an open relationship. Since you and your partner both agreed that it would be okay to have sexual relations with others, the "selos" and "imon" factor in your relationship would be pretty much invalid, and that the most appropriate thing for you to do is to just accept the situation as it is and wait for the day till you and your partner are finally ready to commit to one another. Honestly, I just cannot imagine myself getting into this kind of set up. I don't think I can sleep well at night, knowing that my boyfriend might be chatting or meeting someone else behind my back. I mean, how can you be okay with that when that's practically cheating right? But in the modern and liberated world that we live in today, there are couples who don't mind being in an open relationship and I do not have anything against them. I remember asking my friend, "Why do you think people agree to do something so unconventional like this?" and all he said was this, "Nette, it's simple. They do it because it's convenient. Some people just can't handle the physical and emotional requirement of being in a serious relationship, but they like the feeling, so amo na. They play around till they can't, till they don't want to anymore." And this line had me thinking, is love or being in a relationship more of a convenience now? Is it not something that should be treated with utter importance and respect? I know that each person in this world comes from different family backgrounds and have different beliefs which I respect wholeheartedly, but if my opinion was to be asked about the matter, what I would say is that love when you're ready and not when you're lonely. Relationships are supposed to be grounded on love and on trust, and if this is something that is too difficult for a person to give, a relationship is the last thing that he/she should have in mind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to get to know more people, and playing around, but I guess that is best done when you're single, because at least, walang nasasaktan. But you know, if you and your partner are cool with it, who am I to judge right? I just hope that in the end, we all get the love and the happiness that we truly deserve.
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August 2021
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